It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
