I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
