I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
