can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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