I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
