You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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