Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
