Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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