If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
