ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
