Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
