This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
