3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
420 ftw
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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