I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize