4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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