my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize