something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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