Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
