Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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