I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
