There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Cover your peen. We're going out.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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