so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
