Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
