He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
