Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
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