so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize