Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
