Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Are we still banned from the library?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
