You can't special order awesome
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
tell me about the fingering
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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