dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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