she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
