I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
