So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
