We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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