Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
