Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
