and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
