I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
