well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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