the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
