you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
