is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
