we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
