I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
