i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love having hate sex.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
