i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
