I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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