Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
