I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
