Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This girl is more easily done than said...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
