He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
