I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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