2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
