i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
