My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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