Fine. I'll sleep in my office
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
