also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
