I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
