my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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