It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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